Janet’s POV
Four days. Four god damn days of sitting in this room, doing nothing but showering and staring out the window. I hadn’t seen of even spoken to Josh in four long fucking days. I missed him.
I’ve had urges. Every time I smell a man, I want to… Never mind. The point is, I need it. The pain subsided but the urges seem to never end.
Since the night Josh left, the nightmares have gradually gotten worse. My latest one, which only happened an hour ago seemed to be the worse. I could almost feel my wounds opening back up. I ran a finger over my lip -just in case-
Tears fell down my cheeks, as I sat with my left leg folded over the right. My hands in my lap and my head bowed, I desperately wanted to just give Josh a hug. I feel drained, because I’m not allowed to see him, or even smell him.
It’s four in the bloody morning, and a few people were patrolling the hallways. Their scents were strong as they passed and I let out an uneasy sigh. I played with the hem of Josh’s over sized tee shirt and picked at a loose strand.
I wanted to scream, but then I would wake the whole house. So I sat there, crying in silence, hoping no one could hear me. It’s funny, it feels like I can’t live without Josh and we haven’t even broken up or anything.
‘Janet?’ A deep voice spoke into my head. I rubbed my eyes and nodded my head, not sure why but he cannot see me. His voice was thick, and clear almost as if he were right here beside me.
My heart leapt.
‘Janet, please stop crying.’ he cooed. My eyes hooded at the sound of his voice. I needed him here right now, how could he not understand that? Why can’t he understand that, I can’t do this. I’ve taken too much pain. More tears slid down to my chin, I couldn’t help it.
‘Please, Josh. Please….I’m scared; and I need you here, please.’ I cried into my mind. I covered my eyes and pressed my head into my knees.
I rested the back of my head against the headboard, and listened to the silence. He had hesitated to reply, because hopefully he knows what’s been happening. I was scared, of the nightmares, and the fact that they seem realer than the last. All I wanted was for him to at least hold me while I sleep.
I desperately wanted him to mark me.
‘Janet, you know I can-‘ he started, but I quickly stopped him. He’s trying to convince me it’s for the best but I wasn’t so sure. I blew out a hot breath and rubbed under my eyes.
‘Please!’ I begged. It was more demanding then my last cries. I was afraid of where the sudden force was coming from. I sucked in a deep breath and calmed. His scent was stronger than before.
‘Janet…if I come in- I don’t know if I can handle myself.’ He said softly. This time it wasn’t in mind link, he was on the other side of the door. My eyes fluttered open.
“I don’t care, Josh.” I sighed still hugging my knees to my chest. My hair had fallen over my face, and it was curled due to the fact I had nothing else to do.
The door quietly clicked unlocked. I didn’t bother looking, still slightly ashamed of what’s happening to me. Rena told me time and time again I shouldn’t be, but I cannot help it. It’s embarrassing.
I looked up to see the beautiful blue eyes I’ve been missing. They were brighter than before, and under his eyes are a little puffy. Had he been crying?
“Ya know, Rena’s gonna kill me.” He had a smirk on his lips, and he stood near the door in nothing but a pair of black sweatpants. I climbed to my feet and practically threw myself into his arms.
I inhaled his scent, and relaxed instantly. His arms squeezed my waist and to be honest it was the best feeling ever. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder.
I buried my head into his neck, and softly mumbled under my breath. His hands never once left my waist, and he sighed.
“Janet, this isn’t good.” He hissed. I know he’s holding back his wolf and I shook my head. It’s fine. He’s here with me.
“No, no, no. It’s good.” I mumbled, my head in his chest. I felt drunk, intoxicated by his scent. I’ve never been the kind of girl to do this but I needed to.
He silently walked me to the bed, and he sat down. I stood there silently, staring into his eyes. He sighed, and closed his eyes for a minute. “Janet- I only came in here so you can sleep, alright? This is hard enough.” I simply nodded, and felt his hand reach up and wipe still wet tears from my cheeks. Standing between his legs, I dipped down and pressed my lips to his.
I deepened the kiss more than I should have, and found myself over top of him teasing the hell out of him. My lips trailed down his jawline, to his collar bone. His fingers dug into my hips, and he groaned.
“Janet.” Josh hissed, “Janet don’t.” Yes, he would be pissed if I did this. I needed to though. I felt my teeth extend, and before I knew it they were in his collar bone.
Josh hissed, “Janet!” A growl escaped his lips. He’s pissed. I shouldn’t have done that. I could taste his blood, and I licked the mark until he stopped struggling.
I pulled away and stared at the mark I had made. Josh rolled his eyes and ran a hand down his collar bone before shaking his head. A wide smirk grew on his lips “Janet, that really hurt ya know. Your getting it too, which really makes me upset, and this will make things so much worse on your hormones.”
I nodded softly against his chest, and listened to his beating heart. It bested faster than before and my eyes fluttered.
“Your making things worse, Janet. You really need to put some pants on, and not just wear a shirt.” His hands were placed just above the back of my kneecap and he gave then a light squeeze.
We laid there in silence for minutes, before Josh finally spoke again. I was happy that he was mine, and mine only. The mark I made, made me sort of proud of myself. I finally have something, and I wouldn’t lose it. My eyes opened, as Josh spoke, “hop up, Babe, I gotta shower.” I hesitated to get up, but I did.
I watched him walk into the bathroom, and I fell back into bed. No, I didn’t regret marking him, but I’m sure he did. He didn’t want me to, not yet at least.
But he’s finally mine.
I finally did it. I finally had someone to call mine. I hated calling something mine, it’s claiming it like an object, but it had a good ring to it. my tongue felt funny from his taste of blood, and it had left a mark on it for sure.
My canines had shrunken back to normal, and I had actually calmed down more than all week. Being happy was an understatement. All I wanted now was nothing more than him to sink his teeth into me, anywhere he wants.
The sound of the shower running filled my ears. It was calming, but I was uneasy due to the fact that I was in heat. I knew he was naked, and my wolf did too. That made things so much worse on me. Josh was humming some tone.
Breath, Janet.
I mentally scolded myself. I shouldn’t be thinking like I am. I feel like some sex craved dog- which I am. I’m pretty sure every wolf goes through this, were or not. My eyes were squeezed shut, as I tried to think of something other than Josh. The only thing that would show up was him, in the shower.
My heart pounded, at the thought. What if I went in there with him? Would I be good enough for him? Of course I would, I’m his mate, and he never rejected me. Would it hurt? I’ve never actually done anything before, other than kissing.
My core throbbed at the inappropriate thoughts of Josh touching me. It felt too real, and it made my body want him more. I played with my hair to attempt to cool myself. My breathing was slow, and my nervousness built up.
I finally built up the nerve to stand to my feet and walk towards the bathroom. The sound of the water falling filled my ears, and still the humming of some song. I hesitated to open the door, and as I did steam filled my lungs. The heat felt good.
His body was blurred by the thick glass of the shower, and his back was facing me. I turned away from him and brushed the hair from my face. This isn’t like me at all.
I won’t regret this though.
I want it.
I need it.
I will get it.
Before I knew it, my clothes were lying in a heap on the tile floor. I slid open the glass, hearing Josh’s voice, “Janet what are you-” he stopped himself, and his breathing went heavy. I watched his eyes grow dark, and fear took over my body.
did I make a mistake?
I won’t regret it.
“Mark me.” I Jumped into his arms. My breathing was too thick and water was running over my lip. One of his arms hooked just under my breasts held me up, and the other was on my stomach. He ignored my statement and continued to stand there.
“Hold on Janet. I’m not going to have sex with you-“
“But-“
“But, I’ll ease it a little bit, alright?”
I nodded, and pulled my lip between my teeth. His free hand slid down my waist and between my legs. I sucked in a quick breath, not exactly sure what to do. “Relax, have you ever done this?” He whispered, and I shook my head. “Not even to yourself?” I shook my head again. I’ve never touched myself, I’ve always found it gross.
He drew circles into my core, teasing me before slowly pressing one finger inside me. I choked down a moan, as he slowly added another finger. “Your so…tight.” He smiled against my shoulder, and I felt my knees go weak. Josh’s other hand wrapped around me tighter and gave me a soft squeeze.
His fingers felt like magic. Of course, it wasn’t exactly what I needed, but it was close enough. My head fell back onto his chest and I tried to remain quiet. Everyone was still asleep. My eyes fluttered shut, and a whimper escaped my lips.
His fingers pumped at a slower pace than before, and I breathed softly. I felt my body tighten, and all at once the energy was drained from me. A thick stickiness ran down my leg, as I tried to catch my breath Josh held me tighter.
After awhile I could finally stand, and Josh turned me to where I was facing him.
His finger trailed under my jaw, to make me look at him. My cheeks burned, and he dipped down and pressed his lips to mine. Slowly he pulled away.
He pressed me against the wall. His plump pink lips trailed down my jaw line and his teeth grazed along my neck. “Say it.” He hissed.
“I-I’m yours.”
His teeth sunk into my collar bone, and I felt tears prick my eyes. It hurt like a bitch, and I wasn’t exactly good with pain. I stood there without squirming, and the pain soon turned into a pleasure. He treated it like he had done it before, until the bleeding finally stopped.
Josh grinned, and handed me a loofa. I glanced at him quietly, while he spoke, “here, wash up. I’ve already, and since I marked you- we have to finish the whole mating process soon.” He pecked me on the lips one more time before stepping out of the shower.
He fumbled around for a minute, and once the door clicked I scrubbed my body. Carefully over my collar bone I sucked in a painful breath. It really hurt. It was sort of like a tattoo, but no special colors.
Before I knew it I had climbed out of the shower and was dressed in Josh’s dirty shirt and a pair of shorts. I had brushed my teeth and found myself back in the bedroom.
He turned to face me, while lying on his side. Once his eyes caught mine a huge grin grew on his lips, and to be honest I think I melted. I quickly hopped into the empty side of the bed and faced his direction.
His fingers caught ahold of my cheek and he pulled my lips to his giving me a kiss. I drew back and bit my lip, trying so hard to not make it awkward.
He pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around the small of my back. “Ya know, Janet. Rena is going to freak out, with that little mark, and what I’m not going to tell her.” He chuckled, I imagined his sister knocking him out for touching me.
“That’s fine, but does that mean I can come out tomorrow?” I asked, almost without thinking. He shrugged, “it depends.” What does it depend on? If he likes me? No!
“but, since I did mark you Janet- things are going to change. Your power, your mind link, everything. And, then I’ll have to take over as alpha, since ya know the whole Luna thing.” He breathed. I was terrified of becoming Luna, since some of the pack doesn’t exactly like me. A shiver ran down my spine.
My eyes hooded at his steady breathing, and they became heavy. “It’s fine,” I mumbled before drifting into a deep sleep.