“She’s totally going to be a daddy’s girl.” I mumble, rubbing my eyes tiredly and climbing into bed. Josh smiles, holds his arms open for me to just snuggle into. I do just that.
I just got home earlier today. I spent most of the day lounging around. Josh had talked his friends and family into just letting me get some peace and quiet for a day or two.
I need to start working out more again if I want to get back to the size I was. It’s not a huge difference but I liked the way I was.
“I can’t help that ladies fall in love with me.” He mumbles, running his nose along my neck. I roll my eyes at his joke, look up at him and grin.
I roll onto my stomach and rest my head against his chest. “I hope that’s just me and Evelyn, yeah?” I ask. He knows I’m not being serious.
“Nope.” He says sticking his tongue out. I scowl a little. “My mom included.” He adds. He let’s out a low laugh trying to be a little quiet.
He laughs at my expression, cups my face and kisses me gently. It’s not filled with lust or anything. It’s just a sweet, tender kiss. One that has so many emotions inside of it.
His hand, out of habit reaches the bottom of my shirt and he grabs at my hip. It’s always been something he does, since the day we were first together.
I pull away when he rubs his thumb over a tender spot. It doesn’t hurt me, but it hurts my self esteem. I completely pull away from him, roll to face the opposite way and curl into the blankets.
Unfortunately for me, when I had Evelyn, I got a few stretch marks on my hips. That’s the only part I hate from the whole ordeal. “Janet?” Josh’s voice is soft beside me. He presses his hand on my back and leaves it there.
“Why’d you just pull away from me like that?” He asks, his breath is against my shoulder blade and his hand snakes around my body.
“It’s just….it’s-” I sigh, “I just don’t want you to look at me yet.” I say. It’s a confusing explanation. He inhales, let’s it out and rolls me over to face him.
“You don’t want me to look at your body?” He asks. His eyes lock on mine and he doesn’t lose the contact.
“Take off your shirt.” He demands. I blink, refuse to do what he says and he rolls his eyes. He pushes the fabric up my body and tugs it over my head. I had a miniature fit in silence about it.
I curl into a ball, try to keep him from looking at me. Nothing is really working. “Baby, please don’t hide from me.” He croaks. I swallow at the sound of his voice. He sounds almost hurt that I would do such a thing.
When I finally let him see what I’m talking about, his fingers run over the marks and he furrows his eyebrows. Clearly he doesn’t know what it feels like to have him touch them. I feel disgusted in myself.
“Is this what your hiding from me? Your stretch marks? Why would you be ashamed of something as beautiful as these?” He mumbles, his eyes lift up to mine to keep the attention off of it. “Those marks are nothing at all to be ashamed of. Hell, you should be proud of yourself. They’re a sign of life. That you carried a baby- my baby, and that you will carry more when the time comes. You should be so proud because the doctors said that you couldn’t do it, but you did. You did the impossible. Baby, please don’t let something like these marks blind you from the bigger, better picture. I love you regardless of the scars on your body, or your weight- or any physical appearance for that matter.” He says softly, he pushes hair out of my face and runs his fingertips over the marks.
I can’t help but smile. The long speech had something to do with it, but the biggest part was the adoration Josh has in his eyes. I sink my teeth into my lip. He really does love souls more than any other feature.
“Who said anything about having more?” I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. Josh grins at the comment.
“That’s the only thing that sparked your attention in that entire speech I just gave you?” He asks, leaning forward and kissing me softly for a moment.
“I mean I got everything else, but that just caught my attention.” I say softly. My voice is almost a whisper. “But seriously?”
“I said so,” he mumbles, kissing my nose, “not anytime soon, but we will.” He assures me.
“Do you know how painful that was?” I ask, cracking a smile. The thought of a few more babies with him was a good one. Until I thought about all the crying.
“A little. Your wolf forced me to feel a little of it. I couldn’t imagine the full intensity.” He says. “But I can talk you into it.” He smirks.
“You probably could.” I reply. I close my eyes and lay there. I’m undeniably tired.
“Get to sleep, baby.” He says, kissing my forehead then covering my body with the blanket. He curls up next to me and let’s out a breath.
“Hmm?” I mumble softly, nuzzling my head into his neck.
“Sorry, it’s just, your a gift that keeps on giving.” He mumbles, wrapping his arms around me as I drift into a sleep.
My eyes shoot open to the sound of infant cries. I roll out of bed, shuffle across the room and pull a crying Evelyn from her crib.
I rock her, softly trying to calm her. Josh is fast asleep in the bed, almost completely bare and hardly covered by the blanket. He’s on his stomach and you can clearly see the muscles in his back.
Evelyn won’t stop crying. I exit the bedroom, go to her room and change her diaper. It doesn’t help. I let out a sigh, shift on my feet and hold her close to my chest.
Her face is red from crying. I find myself in the kitchen trying to make a bottle for her. I feel like that’s the only resort. I shake the bottle and I feel as if her cries get louder but I’m not sure. It might just be me.
My wolf doesn’t know what to do. Wolf pups aren’t born completely helpless. She groans, and I do the same. The bottle goes in her mouth, she stops crying for a moment.
Then she won’t take the bottle. I’m getting frustrated. “What do you want?” I whine. “I’m just as tired as you!” I complain.
She won’t stop crying. “Please Evelyn. Please just stop crying!” I beg. I’m getting frustrated, my bottom lip quivers.
“Here, sweetheart, let me see her.” He says softly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. I didn’t notice he had woken up. He holds out his arms and I carefully hand Evelyn over. She keeps crying, he pulls her close to his heart, pats her bottom and shoves the bottle into her mouth until she takes it.
Just like that, she stops her crying. I wipe my eyes, look down at the two of them. I envy how much of a bond the two already have. But I’m tired too.
Josh holds Evelyn carefully. He’s a bigger guy- and looks like he could crush our baby with one hand. Like a Great Dane and a chihuahua.
Josh looks at me, he gives me a soft smile and glances down at Evelyn for a moment. “Go to sleep, sweetheart. I’ll get her to sleep then I’ll be back in there, okay?” He says. I let out a breath and nod my head.
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I’m in bed and curled into the blankets in an instant. I feel bad for leaving him with the baby, but then again I need to sleep.
I lay there, my eyes are closed. Eventually that’s all it takes for me to get to sleep.
“Your doing great, baby.” Josh says, “but why not take a break?” He offers. I’d been working on my long due training all day today.
Evelyn is with Marianna, who insisted that Josh and I have a night alone. We had been non-stop taking care of Evelyn for almost two and a half months now.
I stop punching the bag, and wipe my forehead. Josh keeps actually wanting to go out on a date. I just have a strange feeling about it.
“There’s this nice restaurant I want to take you to.” He offers, wiggling his eyebrows. “And plus,” he snakes his arms around my body and presses his chest against my back. He runs his nose along my collar bone and smiles, “I think it’s time you and I were alone, yeah?”
I giggle when he kisses my neck and I can’t help but crane it for him to get better access. He’s right. Josh and I hadn’t been together in that way for a long time. Just the simple contact he’s doing is sending my wolf mad.
“Mmm,” I mumble, “we can go eat later,” I say turning to face him. He looks down at me, grins and kisses me.
I feel my back hit the cool wall. I momentarily pause, and Josh takes those few seconds to kiss the base of my neck. Suddenly, it feels ten times hotter in here.
“Wait,” I mumble as soon as I feel his hand slip underneath my sports bra. He let’s out a frustrated groan but pulls away too figure out why I made him stop.
“What?” He looks completely confused. His lips are swollen, and a fear of rejection is in his eyes. I smile, lean forward and kiss him breifly.
“Not here.” I say. He rolls his eyes, “of course not, this stuff was expensive.” He mumbles. I smile at the way he had put it, and suddenly he lifted me off my feet and was carrying me upstairs to our bedroom.
I wrap my legs around his body, slightly afraid that he might trip or just drop me down the stairs. He didn’t though, instead he did drop me on the bed.
“Your so beautiful.” He smiles kissing my skin. Before long, he’s burying himself inside me.
I lay in bed, my heart is beating fast, but Josh’s is beating even faster. I have my head on his chest, and his breath is fanning into my hair.
“Your not having a heart attack, are you?” I ask. Josh chuckles softly, intertwines our fingers and doesn’t say anything. His thumb rubs across the diamond ring on my finger and I know there’s a smile on his face.
“No, I just haven’t done that in awhile,” he comments, I smile and let out a tired breath. I roll to my side to face him, he smiles and looks down at me.
I kiss him softly. He pulls away, “you make me so happy.” His voice is soft. I grin at the heart- warming words he had just let me know.
“And you make me tired.” I joke, he rolls his eyes but continues to smile. “Says the one who wouldn’t tell me to stop until the third round.” He pokes his tongue out at me and I roll my eyes.
“You wouldn’t have stopped anyways.” I say. He smiles, nuzzles his head close to my heart and stays like that.
“Your right.” He replies.
“Can we go out to that restaurant some other time? All I want to do is just lay here and be with you, like this.” I breath running my fingers through his hair.
“yeah, me too.” He says softly. I can feel his heart beat slowing down and I know that he’s going to fall asleep on me soon. I don’t mind at all though.
“I love you,” I whisper. He takes a minute to reply.
“I love you…too…” He says just before falling asleep. I smile, lay there until I myself drift off into a sleep that I hadn’t had in awhile.