A bright light hit my eyes and I squinted.
Was this heaven?
“Luna Amy, can you hear me?”
I tried to talk but I couldn’t find my voice.
“We’re losing her.”
“Here, take this-”
“More blood!” It sounded a little like Julia. Did Julia die, too?
I tried to track all of the different voices but they were talking too fast. My mind was slow and I couldn’t keep up.
“That’s all we have!”
“Keith-” Keith was here? My heart accelerated and I reached for him. But my fingers grasped the lonely air beside me.
“Do you really have to ask?”
“But-”
“Just do it!” Keith said impatiently and there was a pause. They all seemed to stop.
And then it picked up again, there was a shuffling of feet and several hands grabbed my arms.
Someone stuck something sharp in my stomach. There was a blazing pain in my stomach and I thrashed around, wanting to put the fire out.
But strong arms held my arms and legs down and I finally went limp. I closed my eyes and dug my nails into my palm, drawing blood.
I finally realized that I wasn’t in Heaven. There was too much pain.
“Her heartbeat is steady.”
“Careful, steady now,”
My body numbed and I could barely feel the hand squeezing my own.
But just as quickly, it slipped away and I was alone.
I heard a loud bang and the table I was laying on shook.
“Shoot!”
“No, no, no,” Someone sobbed.
“What’s. . . okay?” My ears were too weak now.
“Get. . . Now!”
“He’s. . .”
I couldn’t stay awake anymore, all of my energy was drained to the point of exhaustion.
I fainted and was quickly engulfed in darkness, wondering if I would wake up again.
*****
I slowly opened my eyes, afraid of whatever I was waking up to. Heaven? Hell? The real world?
A woman whose hair was tied back in a messy bun greeted me. Her skin had a sickly pale gray tint and she looked as if she didn’t sleep for the past month.
“Luna Amy? Are you awake?” She asked and helped me sit up. “I’m Taylor, the pack healer. Does anything hurt?”
“No-” But I spoke too soon.
I instantly put a hand to my stomach as it cried out in protest. There were a bunch of stitches lined all over my stomach. Covering the wound that should’ve killed me.
I rubbed my stomach carefully and tugged my shirt down.
“Where am I? Am I dead?” I asked curiously, the room not looking familiar.
“Of course not, honey, you’re very much alive.” She smiled warmly, but her smile looked a little forced.
I knew I should be happy, but was my life worth it?
“How?”
She bit her lip uneasily, “Well, um, it was a very complicated surgery.”
“It’s a miracle you’re alive in the first place. You just cheated death.” A familiar voice interrupted and I looked over at Julia, my old pack healer. The gray in his dark hair glimmered a silver sheen and the wrinkled corners of his mouth tilted up in a small smile.
The wise, lone wolf walked over to me. He was wise, not because he never found his mate, but because he knew things. He knew the world the most, having been the oldest wolf in my old pack. He was like a dad to Albert and me, since we needed one most.
“Good news or bad news?” Julia asked.
“I could really use some good news.”
“Good news is that you’re alive. We brought you back from the dead.” Only Julia would be able to do that.
“But my heart stopped.”
“Yes, it did. But through a very complicated procedure that was planned in less than ten minutes, we managed to heal you. It also helped that you were a Luna.” Julia explained and I nodded. I guess the blood of a Luna and daughter of an Alpha was pretty strong.
“Bad news?” I prepared myself for the worst.
“The knife pierced one of your major arteries, which led you to lose a ton of blood. I won’t get into the science of it but basically, the reason you died was because of so much blood loss.”
“So?” What was his point?
“You needed blood-” I cut him off, remembering Keith.
“Wait. Where’s Keith?” I asked suddenly, looking around frantically. “He was here, I heard him.”
Where did he go? Why did he leave?
“Well, as you know,” Taylor looked at Julia, obviously mind-linking him, “or not know, you have a very rare blood type. . . So we needed to get the blood somehow.”
“I don’t understand.” I sighed in frustration.
“He volunteered to transfer all of his blood. He-”
“He wouldn’t do something so stupid.” I objected.
How could he sacrifice himself to save me? After I accused him and said all those nasty things to him, why would he still want to help me?
“He’s your brother, of course he would.” Taylor answered.
“He’s okay, right?” He wouldn’t give all of his blood, he had a brain right?
“He’s alive, but he’s in a coma.” said Julia and something got stuck in my throat.
“Because of me.” I choked out.
I should’ve never yelled at him, I should’ve forgiven him from the start.
“Because he wanted to. No one made him do anything, he wanted to save you.” Julia shook his head and put a hand on my shoulder. “He loved you.”
A life for a life.
“Will he wake up soon?” I needed to know he would be okay.
“We don’t know. He’s not responding to our medicine, so Julia thinks it’s a good idea to move him to Alpha Albert’ territory. They have more medicine.”
I nodded solemnly. He might never wake up again and it would be all my fault.
I cheated death, in the place of another. And even if he wasn’t dead, he was still trapped in his mind. It was a punishment worse than my death.
Why? Why did you do that, Keith? Didn’t you value your own life?
“That’s not all.” Julia spoke up and I swung my legs over the operation table. I gingerly dropped my feet to the floor and tried not to open my stitches.
“More bad news?” I was alive, but at what price?
Julia looked at Taylor, hesitating.
“I don’t know how to say this, it’s not an easy thing to say.” Taylor stalled, looking at Julia. He nodded for her to continue and she swallowed. I looked from him to her, meeting her unsteady gaze.
“What I’m about to tell you might change your life forever, but just know that we’ll always be there to help you.” Taylor leaned in to hug me but I leaned away. Hugging would only make me cry.
“What is it? It’s not like it’s any worse than hearing that your best friend is in a coma and that he might not wake up.” I said bitterly.
“You can never have children.” Julia said bluntly, not leaving any time to stall anymore. I shot a hand to my stomach, rubbing it with shocked eyes.
Oh. My. God. . .
Taylor quickly joined in.
“The wound was too deep and the knife hit your vitals-”
By then, I wasn’t listening.
I could never have my happily ever after? I could never watch my kids grow up and be like a normal wolf?
It was my dream to be surrounded by my children, I didn’t care how many. I just wanted children to call my own.
But my heart was crushed.
Of course, Brandon and I weren’t mates anymore and my wolf was gone and my best friend was in a coma. But this was the news that broke me.
I had been revived but was this life any better than the one I died for?
I wanted to go back to where I belonged in Heaven, but that would waste Keith’s sacrifice.
I decided that I would live for him.
I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry myself dry. My life was a mess.
Taylor inhaled sharply, clutching the table for support. She dragged me out of my depressed hole.
Julia looked to her, his eyes urgent.
He opened his mouth, “What is it?”
“I was just informed of Alpha Joe and Luna Emma’s arrival.” She replied simply. “They’re in the main hallway.” Which was right above us.
“Arrival?” Julia frowned.
“It’s not unusual.” She shrugged.
“Why? Are they always gone?”
“They spend most of their time going on vacation,” Taylor explained vaguely and I just stared at her, “Pack meetings and things like that.”
“But Brandon’s the Alpha.” I argued, finally able to speak. My voice was hoarse and it sounded as if I might cry any second.
I was a lone wolf after all.
“Those are their words, not mine. It’s not a secret that they spend pack resources on their own extravagances,” She shrugged again, “I kind of feel bad for Alpha Brandon. If you really look at it, he grew up without parents because they were always gone. He grew up too soon.”
I stormed passed Julia, ignoring the throb in my stomach, and used my shoulder to shove the door open.
They didn’t follow me.
I walked up the stairs, leaning on the railing and hoping my stitches wouldn’t open. God, it hurt.
When I finally rounded the corner, I saw Brandon’s parents. They were dressed in sparkly clothes and were talking to a pretty big crowd.
I felt the shocked stares of the wolves, their open mouths and wide as the moon eyes. When the other wolves saw me, they parted a path for me. That led straight to the two rulers.
I looked for Brandon, but he wasn’t there. The mate bond was lonely and dead. I hoped he would find a happy ending.
“Where did you go?” I asked when I got to them.
They smiled at me and Emma tried to greet me with a hug.
But I flinched away from her, glaring at them.
“We traveled to the outer packs of the north.” Joe answered as if I didn’t show my defiance.
“You’re always away, leaving Brandon to defend his pack,” The wolves surrounding us started to whisper among each other. But I didn’t care. “Why?”
“Amy?” Emma asked with artificial concern, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I crossed my arms over my abdomen. “But Brandon’s not. You could at least help your son. I’m guessing you left before the war.”
“What war? What is she talking about?” Emma turned to her husband.
“You left him, and even if you do come back eventually, you leave Brandon to take over your responsibilities!” I exclaimed, my wrath taking over. “If I were him, I wouldn’t even look at you, let alone talk to you!”
Joe gave me a stern look while holding Emma to his chest.
“Now look, Amelia, we gave our son the right to become Alpha of this pack. We leave to discuss other pack threats-”
“You shouldn’t tell lies.” I countered and there was a rise of murmurs coming from the wolves. They looked unsure.
“You’re in no position to accuse us of lying.” Joe’s voice rose and I matched its tremor.
“Where were you when West died? Or when many of your wolves died in the war last year? Where were you when I died?” I cried, my voice echoing all over the walls. “Do you even care about your son or your pack?”
“I don’t understand. You died? But you’re standing right here?” Emma cocked her head, clearly confused. But I didn’t have time to explain what they missed. They should’ve been here to watch over Brandon.
“You’re the reason he’s haunted by his past.” I pivoted on my heel, not caring what they thought of me.
His parents may seem kind, but they were wolves in sheep’s clothes.
I ran up to my room, digging for a spare phone.
I called the first person who I knew could help me.
“Harper, it’s me. I need help.”